V človeku je istá sila,ktorá nás vedie ďalej....vyššie od hmoty.



 

Ariadna


,, Svet je guľatý a miesta, ktoré sa zdajú ako jeho koniec, môžu byť začiatkom. Aj vo vašom živote sa začne niečo nové v kapitole, ktorú ste považovali za uzavretú. " Smaragdový pohľad prebehol po písmenkách horoskopu a spokojne sa rozžiaril napriek pozdvihnutému obočiu. Na okamih zatajila dych, mysľou jej prebehol scenár jasnej budúcnosti, fantázia v zrýchlenom pohybe. Elegantne odpila z horúcej čokolády s kokosovou príchuťou a zľahka jazykom prebehla po ústach. Zbožovala tento nápoj rovnako ako moment domácej pohody, pri ktorej si ukradla pár minút iba pre seba na kratučký relax. Prehla chrbát a na mäkkých vankúšoch sladko zapriadla, hriva zlatistých vlasov jej žiarlivo zakryla bujné poprsie ukryté v obtiahnutom červenom svetríku. Milovala svoj domov, bol pre ňu stredobodom vesmíru, domov a láska sa v jej poňatí spájali v jedno. V ovzduší vankúšikov, záclon, štýlového nábytku, partnera , detí prekvitala. Dobrý vkus, elegancia, formálna dokonalosť vo všetkom. Tak ako túžila po pohodlí pre seba, rovnako ju tešila skutočnosť, že sa môže veľkoryso o svoju rodinku postarať, a ak bolo treba, dokázala drieť do úmoru. Bola výbornou hostiteľkou, družným priateľským debatám nikdy nehrozilo slovko nuda. Stelesnená prívetivosť a výrečnosť, rozhovorom dokázala potešiť na najrôznejšie témy, jej nevydarené vtipy bez pointy boli povestné. Ako v priateľke sa v nej spájala oddanosť a vernosť, priateľov z mladosti si siestami hýčkala a nikdy na nich nezabúdala. No kvôli citom, ktoré vždy boli pascou jej osobnosti, bola aj nekompromisná, ľahko zraniteľná a ak jej priatelia oddanosť neopätovali, vedela odpustiť, no nikdy nezabudla. Ako matka bola šľachetná, milujúca, na dcéry však kládla vždy veľké nároky, nestrpela aby boli nedisciplinované, neupravené, či správali sa hrubo a neokrôchane. Dcéry ju rešpektovali a ona bola schopná v ich záujme priniesť tie najväčšie obete. Pohľadom zavadila o strieborný rámik, v ktorom sa placho usmievalo malé diavčatko v jej náručí a zelený pohľad potemnel. Spomienka krehká ako porcelán, ktorá dokázala premeniť chvíle pohody na najtemnejšie pocity smútku a tragiky.


Zvonček na rúre preťal ticho, signál, že korpusy na zákusok sú dopečené. Bola majsterkou v kulinárskom umení, mala svoj biznis a jej zákusky mali výbornú povesť na okolí. Kuchyňou sa niesla vôňa čokolády, šľahačky a kakaa. Dnes mala v pláne okrem parížskych rezov dokončiť narodeninovú tortu pre dcérinu spolužiačku, k objednávke sa ešte pridali krémeše a veterníky. Do večera sa veru nudiť nebude. Napriek pracovnému vyťaženiu jej myšlienky blúdili kľukatými cestičkami minulosti prelínajúc sa s budúcnosťou, a notebook na barovom pulte sa tiež tvrdošijne domáhal pozornosti. Sem - tam prehodila písmenká s priateľmi na druhom konci virtuálneho sveta alebo odsúhlasila status sociálnej siete, ktorý ju práve zaujal. Najčastejšie móda, make-up, účesy. Vždy plná energie, stíhala všetko v dobrej nálade v obláčiku sofistikovanej vône obľúbeného parfému. Dokonale upravená aj za kuchynským pultom. Vôňa čokolády však vyvolala iné predstavy a nezbedne pozrela na keramickú pec, ktorá mala čisto dekoratívnu funkciu. Aspoň mala by mať. Bola príliš drahá a príliš luxusná na to,aby ju používala na pôvodný účel. Myšlienky partnerovej neprítomnosti so sladkou arómou a chvíľková sexuálna absencia troch predlhých dní si zapýtali svoju daň a ona bola zrazu v myšlienkach na začiatku svojho veľkého dňa. Dňa, kedy spoznala svoju lásku, svojho princa, svoju Čokoládku.


Bolo to pred piatimi rokmi, keď v spoločnosti priateľky kráčala po uličkách metropoly a zablúdila na letnú terasu najznámejšieho hotela Radisson Cartlon, týčiaceho sa v samom srdci Bratislavy. Oáza pokoja v objatí zelene a kvetov poskytujúca pokoj a uvoľnenie, s preslávenými mandľovými koláčikmi a vynikajúcou kávou akoby predpovedala sviatočnosť onoho dňa. Vyberaná klientela tohto výnimočného miesta bola vždy ako povestná čerešnička na torte. Bol apríl, no počasie mimoriadne zhovievavé. Na terase sedeli dvaja muži tmavšej pleti v družnom rozhovore. Aj ona s priateľkou mala svoje témy, ktoré vyvolávali výbuchy smiechu, no čoraz častejšie si uvedomovala, že pohľad sa tvrdohlavo vracia na oné miesto týchto dvoch pánov. Je všeobecne známe, že blondínky sú ako magnet pre mužov nielen v Európe, a ona napriek statusu matky troch dcér už na pohľad vzbudzovala vášne u mužov. Naivita, neha, ustráchanosť, nie príliš vysoké IQ. Klišé, no realita značne odlišná. Páni by sa mali zamyslieť, prečo si na plavovláskach vylámu zuby častejšie ako pri ryšavkách či brunetkách. Vedomá si svojej príťažlivosti a smelej povahy dosiahla, že páni si všimli ich stôl. Muži možno netušia, aká dokáže byť blondínka dračica, ak si zaumieni vyvolať pozornosť a dosiahnuť cieľ. Slovo dalo slovo a čoskoro pri stole pod bielym baldachýnom znela spleť rôznych anglických prízvukov, no témy boli pochopené. Oslava narodenín neznámeho mohla začať, o spoločnosť už núdza nebola.


V zajatí myšlienok šikovne poliala parížsky rez tmavou čokoládou a kým poleva tuhla, vyvaľkala ružový marcipán na konečnú úpravu torty v tvare Hello Kitty. Vôňa čokolády v nej udržiavala dobrú náladu a potešenie, a ako správne afrodiziakum opäť povzbudila sexuálnu túžbu po svojom partnerovi. Zhlboka si vydýchla a sústrediac sa na správny tvar torty, znova sa ocitla vo svojom podvedomí, čoho stelesnením boli spomienky.


Chcelo to dobrú večeru, historická časť Starého Mesta bola ideálna, no chcelo to taktiež nový outfit. Muž, ktorý jej padol do oka dal návrh, či mu bude robiť spoločnosť celú noc. Súhlasila. Vybrali sa do hotela, kde mienil zhodiť tričko a preobliecť sa do košele. Kým stála uprostred hotelovej izby a čakala na svojho spoločníka, hlavou jej blúdili hriešne myšlienky. Žila iba pre svoje tri dcérky, s manželom ju nespájalo nič okrem nevraživosti, a keďže žili oddelene, nemala povinnosť držať svoje fantázie na uzde. A dnes sa o to ani nesnažila. Tento počerný príťažlivý mladý muž ju neuveriteľne priťahoval, chémia účinkovala dokonale. Keď sa objavil oproti nej v intimite štyroch stien a pobozkal ju na ústa, nebránila sa. To iracionálne čosi, čo prebúdza vášeň, pohnutie citu dominujúceho nad rozumom sa akoby utrhlo z reťaze a štafetu prevzali pobláznené hormóny, čoho výsledkom bol strhujúci zážitok pre oboch.


Tortu opatrne vložila do chladiaceho boxu a vytiahla stuhnutý rez. Nôž sa ľahúčko zaboril do lákavého dezertu a skúseným pohybom nakrájal úhľadné trojuholníky, ktoré každý zvlášť podložila v troch štvrtinách do nastrihaného papiera na pečenie. Všetko dokonalé, nič nenechané na náhodu, či nevkusný vzhľad. Tunajšie zákazníčky mali veľmi vycibrený vkus a ona sa im snažila prispôsobiť ako len vedela. Letmo pozrela z okna, typicky chladné anglické počasie so zamračenou oblohou a snehovými návalmi si dnes mimoriadne udržiavalo svoju prestíž. Nezáležiac od sezóny, počasie v Británii sa vie meniť zo dňa na deň. Hoci tu sneh zažila málokedy, tento rok bol bohatý na biele vločky. Už si zvykla na toto podnebie, napokon človek je tvor prispôsobivý. Odkedy si pred odletom vymenila mail adresu so svojím terajším už partnerom a po mesiaci intenzívnej virtuálnej korešpondencie, odvtedy mala možnosť spoznávať a prispôsobovať sa vrtochom tunajšieho počasia. Bolo to v máji, keď prvý krát pricestovala za svojou láskou, vtedy bol nádherný jasný a slnečný deň. Slabo sa pousmiala, spomienka ako dážď z ničoho nič začal bičovať auto, v ktorom sa viezli, vyplávala na povrch aj po rokoch. A kým prišli k nemu, opäť svietilo slnko akoby sa nič nestalo.


Oheň v ohni. Tak možno charakterizovať muža, ktorého počas letných návštev Londýna mala česť spoznávať. Vnútorné napätie, vždy s túžbou ísť do sveta, niečo robiť, niečo prežívať. Chápanie jeho života bolo uvažovanie, intuitívne poznávanie, hodnotenie. Múdrosť vždy velila držať sa reality. Nikdy sa nevrhal tam, kde by si nebol istý úspechom. No nespočetne veľa krát si vopred premyslel, čo urobiť, potom sa nato ešte flegmaticky vyspal, aby si bol istý, že sa nemýli. Typická hĺbavosť. Mal svoj biznis, žil svoj sen. A vďaka tvrdohlavej ctižiadosti veľmi úspešne. Cesta k vrcholu dláždená realizmom mu nedovolila podpíliť si konár pod sebou negativistickým správaním, ani zlým odhadom. Schopnosť na chvíľu sa odosobniť a reálne zhodnotiť danú situáciu bola jeho devízou. Navyše bol mužom činu, aj ten najlepší nápad, ktorý dostal by bol bezcenný, pokiaľ by ho nepresadil, neuskutočnil. Odmietal nečinnosť a sebadôvera, ktorou ovplýval ho posúvala neustále vpred. Výnimkou nebola ani citová oblasť. Po počiatočných zmätkoch sa stala jeho milenkou so všetkým, čo k intímnemu životu náleží. Emócie nikdy neskrýval, bol priamočiary a dôverne sa vyznal v najtemnejších zákutiach ľudskej povahy. Čestná stránka jeho osobnosti mu nedovolila sex, pokiaľ by si nebol istý svojim citom. Mal svoju rodinu, deti, manželku, no vzťah dávno na priateľskej úrovni. Ako otec sa vedel blysnúť v celej svojej kráse. A svoju manželku rešpektoval a vážil si. Iba žena, hodná jeho lásky a seberovná úrovni jeho manželky mohla zdieľať túto mužnú náruč. Čo cítila, keď jej vyznal lásku a pomiloval? Pocit, ktorý sa nedá slovami opísať, pocit taký krásny a zároveň zraňujúco nepochopiteľný. Slovo, ktoré stráca v dnešnej povrchnej dobe svoj význam, a preto je dôležité dávať si pozor, komu povieme: ,, Milujem Ťa. " V tom momente jej srdce zaplnilo neopísateľné šťastie. Bola to neskutočná predstava, že muž, do ktorého sa zamilovala pred mesiacom, jej cit teraz opätoval, že o nej po nociach sníval a tešil sa ako malý chlapec, keď mala prísť.


Vzťah na diaľku? Ak srdcia raz zistia, že patria k sebe, niet prekážok. Chcú zdieľať spoločne dobré i zlé, cítiť čo najbližšie svoj vzájomný tlkot, túžia si pomáhať, byť si navzájom oporou. Svet naruby je prekrásny. Každému z nás je už niekto súdený, preto je otázkou času, kedy sa spoločné cesty dvoch vyvolených pretnú a oni budú môcť spoznať Bohom určený spoločný osud. Každý však prežije bolesť a sklamanie pri ceste za týmto poznaním, pri ceste k pravej láske. A tak to bolo aj u nich. Vzájomné spoznávanie ich utvrdilo, že sú jeden pre druhého stvorení. On cestoval na Slovensko, spoznával jej priateľov, selektoval falošnosť jej známych a robil i nemožné, aby jej dokázal svoj záujem. Ona z jeho lásky čerpala energiu potrebnú pre život. Nasledovali rozvody, majetkové vyrovnania, a zrodenie plánu spoločnej budúcnosti. Stálo za to počkať si na tento Dar.


Melódia vchodového zvončeka ju prebrala z eufórie, umyla si ruky, dala dolu zásterku a bežala otvoriť. Obrovský dom v typickom anglickom štýle bol jej domovom, bezpečím, útočiskom. Stredobod Zeme, stredobod vesmíru, jej svet.,,Nech sa páči, prejdite si prosím , " uviedla sebavedomým hlasom do vchodovej haly návštevu , ,, prajete si pozrieť celý dom spolu so záhradou, alebo stačí iba interiér? " Odpoveď nebola podstatná, vedela, že musí byť rozhodná a nedať na sebe znať, ako veľmi ju trápi skutočnosť, že jej domov čoskoro nazvú domovom úplne cudzí ľudia.
Život tu v Británii nebol jednoduchý. Mali všetko po materiálnej stránke, užívali život, cestovali, spoznávali svet, deti si navzájom našli k sebe cestu. No predsa, ďaleko od rodiny, priateľov, rodnej zeme cítila melanchóliu a smútok, ktorý ju občas premohol. Chýbala jej skutočná priateľka, keď deti boli v škole a jej láska v práci. Nemala sa s kým porozprávať, ťažila ju samota dlhých dní. Zahnaná osamelosťou do kúta vedela preplakať celé hodiny, sentimentalita, úzkostlivosť a sebaľútosť jej inak veselej povahy si z času na čas zapýtali svoju daň. Milovala svojho partnera, nie bláznivou a zaslepenou láskou, lež láskou bez zvyšku, bezpodmienečnou, trvalou. Prispôsobila sa jeho kultúre, akceptovala jeho vierovyznanie, jeho deťom dala toľko lásky, čo svojim. A predsa....


Svet sa jej začal rúcať zarovno s jeho svetom, keď sa mu prestalo dariť v práci. Vždy sa snažil mať všetko pod kontrolou, nechcel aby ich spoločný život utrpel jeho momentálnym neúspechom ujmu, no ona cítila zmenu. Chlad prenesený za dvere spálne, stratená fantázia, únava. Ničilo ju toto vedomie, obviňovala sa, bála sa vlastného zlyhania. Tak často s ním všetko rozoberala, dávala mu nádej, povzbudzovala. Chcela byť oporou, všetkým. Preto horoskop prečítaný v ranných hodinách vylúdil úsmev na tvári a v smaragdových očiach zajasali iskričky vo vidine novej šance. Jej život nekončil, pokračoval, istotu jej dávala láska,ktorou žila, pretože jej láska bola silnejšia ako kedykoľvek.


,,Môj život nekončí, len pokračuje, raz je dobre, raz je zle... ale to sa jedná len o peniaze, naša láska je stále silná a nekonečná... a to si treba uvedomiť, len bola som zvyknutá na začiatku na obe.. lásku aj bohatstvo." Pootvorený denník pohodený pri rannej šálke čokolády a nedbalo prikrytý dennou tlačou, nie príliš úhľadným písmom ukrýval myšlienky citových pohnutí, ktoré boli jej terapiou.

 

 

 

 

Sonka Valovicz Sazama

Ariadna (anglický preklad)


"The world is round and the places which seem to be its end can be its beginning. Also in your life something new can begin in the chapter which you considered to be closed." Emerald view glanced through the letters of the horoscope and was brightened up with satisfaction despite raised eyebrows. The face was made beautiful with a wide smile, lower lip was sensually tightened. She was left breathless for a while, and the scenario of a bright future flashed through her mind, fantasy in accelerated movement. She elegantly drank a little from the hot chocolate with coconut flavour and licked her lips gently. She loved this drink in the same way as she loved the moment of home peace, when she stole a few minutes only for her for a short relax. She bent her back and on soft cushions sweetly purred; her gold-coloured hair jealously covered her ample bosom hidden in a tight red sweater. She loved her home, it was the centre of the universe for her, home and love meant one for her. In the atmosphere of cushions, curtains, stylish furniture, her partner, and children she flourished. Good taste, elegance, formal perfection in everything. Just as she longed for comfort, she was happy when she could generously take care of her family, and when it was necessary she was able to work very hard. She was a very good host, and the friendly, sociable discussions were never threatened with boredom. She was warm-hearted, articulate, she could talk about different topics; her jokes with the ruined punchline were famous.
As a friend she was loyal, faithful, she pampered her childhood friends and she never forgot anything. However, because of feelings which were a trap for her personality, she was also uncompromising, vulnerable, and when her friends did not return her devotion, she could forgive, but never forgot.
As a mother she was big-hearted, loving, however, she always placed big demand on her daughters; she did not tolerate when they were undisciplined, untidy, rude, or a bit off.
Her daughters respected her and she was able to make the biggest sacrifices for them. She glanced at the silver frame in which a little girl was smiling shyly in her arms and her green eyes darkened. A flashback fragile like porcelain could change the moments of harmony into the darkest feelings of sadness and tragedy.
The bell on the oven pierced the silence; the signal that cake base is ready. She was a master in the culinary art, she had her own business and her cakes had a great reputation in the neighbourhood. You could feel the smell of chocolate, cream and cocoa in the kitchen. Today she intended to finish the birthday cake for her daughter's classmate and also the Parisian desserts, also other cream cakes were ordered. She will be not bored till evening. Despite the workload, she was thinking about different things connected with the past as well as the future; the laptop computer on the bar also wanted her attention. Now and then she dropped a line to friend in the other end of the virtual world and agreed status on the social network which was interesting for her just then.
The most often it was fashion, make-up, hairstyles. Always full of energy, she managed to do everything in good mood, in the cloudlet of the sophisticated scent of her favourite perfume; with perfect outfit also behind the kitchen table. The smell of chocolate provoked other imaginations and she playfully looked at the ceramic oven which had only a decorative function, or it should have. It was too expensive and too luxurious for being used for the original purpose.
Ideas related to the non-presence of her partner together with the sweet odour and momentary sexual absence of three very long nights contributed to that and she was suddenly deep in thoughts in the beginning of her big day. The day when she got to know her love, her prince, her Chocolate. It was five years ago when accompanied with her girlfriend she was walking in the streets of the capital and wandered to the summer terrace of the most famous Radisson Cartlon hotel, standing in the heart of Bratislava. An oasis of peace in the embrace of greenery and flowers providing peace and relaxation, with famous almond cakes and excellent coffee as if predicted the festive atmosphere of that day. Fine customer base of this unique place was always like renowned icing on the cake. It was April, however, the weather was especially mild.
Two men of darker skin were sitting on the terrace and they were having a friendly discussion. She and her girlfriend also had their topics for discussion, and they were laughing a lot, however, she more and more often realised that she is staring obstinately at the place where the two men were sitting.
It is generally known that blonde women are attractive for men not only in Europe and she despite the status of a mother of three daughters, from the first sight created passion in men.
Naivety, tenderness, shyness, not very high IQ. Cliché, but reality is considerably different. Men should give some thought why they are not successful with blondes more often than with girls with ginger or brown hair. She was aware of her attractiveness and courage, thanks to this she achieved that the men noticed their table.
Men have no idea how a blonde girl can behave, like a lioness, if she wants to attract attention and achieve her goal. They exchanged a few words and soon at the table with white baldachin one could hear a mixture of English accents, but the topics were understood. The birthday party of a stranger could start; they were not lacking company any more.
Full of thoughts she skilfully poured dark chocolate on the cake and while the icing was getting solid, she rolled out pink almond paste to finish the cake in the shape of Hello Kitty. The smell of chocolate caused that she was in good mood and joy, and as a right aphrodisiac raised the sexual desire for her partner again. She took a deep breath and concentrating on the right shape of the cake, she was in her subconscious again with her old memories.
She wanted a good dinner, historical part of the Old Town was ideal, but the situation required also a new outfit. The man she noticed gave a proposal if she would accompany him the whole night. She agreed. They headed to a hotel, where he wanted to take off his T-shirt and take a shirt. As she was standing in the middle of the hotel room and waited for her companion, there were sinful ideas in her head. She lived only for her three daughters; she had nothing in common with her husband except hatred, and as they lived separated, she had no obligation to keep her fantasy on a tight rein. She has not even tried to do that today. She found this dark handsome young man very attractive, chemistry was working perfectly. When he appeared against her in the intimacy of four walls and kissed her on her mouth she did not resist. Something irrational what arouses passion, emotions stronger than sense went wild and the crazy hormones picked up the baton, which resulted into a fascinating experience for them both.
She put the pink cake carefully into the cooling box and she took out cooled chocolate dessert. The knife went smoothly into the delicious dessert and she with experienced move cut neat triangles and she placed each in three quarters into cut baking paper.
Everything was perfect, nothing left to chance or tasteless appearance. The customers here had a very good taste and she tried to adapt to it as she could. She glanced out of the window; typically cold English weather with dismally clouded sky and snow flushes has kept its status today so well. Regardless of the season, the weather in Britain can change from day to day. Although she experienced snow very seldom, this year was rich in white snowflakes. She has already got used to this climate; after all, human beings are adaptable. Since she changed the email address with her current partner now and after a month of intensive virtual correspondence, since then she has had the opportunity to get to know and adapt to the whims of the weather here. It was in May when she came to see her love for the first time; it was a beautiful clear and sunny day. She smiled a bit, a memory came to the surface also after years as the rain started to batter the car in which they were driving it started raining. And till they came to him, the sun was shining again as if nothing happened. Fire in fire. This way it is possible to characterise the man whom she had the pleasure to get to know during her summer visits in London. Internal tension, always with the desire to go to the world, to do something, to experience something. Understanding of his life was ruminating, intuitive cognition, evaluation. Wisdom always commanded to stick to reality. He never threw himself where he was not sure of success. However, so many times he thought in advance what to do, then he took a nap phlegmatically to be sure that he is not mistaken. Typical thoughtfulness. He had his own business, he lived his dream. And thank to his stubborn ambitiousness he was quite successful. The road to the top paved with realism did not allow him to cut his own throat with negative behaviour or bad estimate. The ability to impersonalize for a while and to judge the given situation realistically was his main asset. What is more, he was a man of action, also the best idea which he got would have been worthless if he had not pushed it through and implemented it. He was refusing idleness and self-confidence which he was abundant in and it pushed him forward.
The emotional area was not an exception. After the initial chaos she became his only lover with everything what belongs to the intimate life. He never hid emotions, he was straightforward and he was closely familiar with the darkest corners of the human nature. The honest side of his personality did not allow him sex unless he was certain with his feelings. He had his family, children, and wife; however, the relationship was only on a friendly level for a long time. As a father he could show off in his full beauty. And he respected and valued his wife. Only a woman worth his love and equal to his wife could share these manly arms. What could she fee when he declared his love to her and made love to her?
The feeling which cannot be described with words, the feeling so beautiful and at the same time so vulnerably incomprehensible. The word which is losing its meaning in the current superficial times, and therefore it is important to be careful whom we tell: "I love you." In that moment her heart was full of indescribable happiness. It was an incredible vision that the man she fell in love with a month ago had now the same feelings towards her, he dreamed about her at nights and was looking forward to her visits as a little boy.
Long distance relationship? In case the hearts once find out that they belong together, there are no barriers. They want to share good and bad, to feel the heartbeat of their partner as close as possible, they wish to help each other, to be give each other support. The upside down world is beautiful. There is somebody meant for each of us therefore it is a question of time when the common ways of the two chosen people cross and they will be able to get to know the common fate determined by God. However, everyone will go through the pain and disappointment on the way to this knowledge, on the way to the real love. As it was also in their case. The mutual discovering persuaded them that they were made for each other. They lived for each other. He travelled to Slovakia, got to know her friends; he selected the two-facedness of her acquaintances and made also the impossible just to show her his interest. She was drawing energy needed for life from his love. Then they got divorced, property settlements followed and birth of the plan of the future together. It was worth waiting for this Gift.
Melody of the front door bell woke her up from euphoria; she washed her hands, took off her apron and ran to open the door. The huge house in typical English style has been here home, shelter and haven. The centre of the world, the centre of the centre of the universe, her world.
"Will you come in, please" she welcomed the visitors with confident voice to the entrance hall, "Would you like to see the whole house together with the garden or the interior would be enough?" The answer was not important; she knew that she had to be decisive and not to show how painful it was for her that her home would be called home by totally strange people soon. Life in Britain was not easy. They had everything as for the material side, they enjoyed their lives, travelled, got to know the world, their children found their way to each other. However, far from the family, friends, mother country she felt melancholy and sadness she was sometimes overcome with. She missed a real friend when her children were in the kindergarten and her love at work. She had nobody to talk to, the loneliness of long days weighed heavily on her. With her back to the wall due to loneliness she could cry for hours, sentiment, anxiety and self-pity of her otherwise cheerful nature from time to time asked to pay its price. She loved her partner, not with crazy and blind love, but full love, unconditional and permanent love. She adopted herself to his culture, she accepted religion, gave so much love to his children as to her own children. Nevertheless.... Her world started to collapse together with his world when he was not doing well at work. He always tried to have everything under control, he did not want that their common life would suffer due to his current lack of success at work, but she felt the change. The coldness brought behind the bedroom door, loss fantasy, tiredness. This knowledge was destroying her, she was blaming herself, she was afraid of her own failure. She was talking about everything with him, gave him hope, she kept encouraging him. She wanted to be of support to him, his everything. That is why the horoscope she read in the morning hours made her smile and in her emerald eyes appeared sparkles in the vision of a new chance. Her life was not at the end, it continued; love she was experiencing gave her certainty as her love was stronger than ever before. "My life is not finishing, it continues only, once it is good, once it is bad ... but it is not connected only with money, our love is strong all the time and everlasting ... and it is necessary to realize, I was used to both in the beginning.. love as well as wealth." Opened diary placed next to the morning cup of chocolate and carelessly covered with the daily papers, written not very neatly was hiding the thought of emotions which were a therapy for her.

 

február 2013
 


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